By Andryce Andres /August 2026
Recently I was asked how I support a child whose yes-no responses are “inconsistent.”
My answer is simple: inconsistency is a beginning.
Children communicate through movement, facial expression, vocalization, breath, stillness, tension, release. These are body-led and child-led seeds of communication that we have the responsibility to nurture.
Many parents know their child is communicating. They see the glance, the shift, the sound. They feel the meaning instinctively.
But then they enter systems where professionals say: “That’s not intentional” and “That’s too inconsistent.”
And humans absorb external validation or invalidation.
Parents are no exception. Over time, some begin to doubt their own knowing. Some begin to give up – not because they don’t believe in their child, but because they’ve been taught not to.
Children are no exception. Over time, some begin to doubt their own abilities. Learned helplessness. Learned helplessness is not something a child is born with; rather it’s something that is taught.
Tragically, we are all part of that teaching through the institutions and societal beliefs in deciding what is “normal” or “typical” and what is not.
Let’s instead reimagine our role and responsibility. Regardless of age, our responsibility as communication partners is to:
Name what we see.
Name what we hear.
Name what we think it means.
Not to test.
Not to demand accuracy.
But to affirm that each body and voice carry meaning.
When we say: “I saw you look at the toy. That tells me ‘Yes, that one.’” or “You pushed away. That tells me ‘No.’”
Affirmation nurtures the seeds of communication.
Children need affirmation. It gives them the important feedback that they deserve to make the movement bigger and their voice stronger.
Parents need affirmation too. They deserve to hear: “Your child is communicating.” and “You know your child. Keep listening.
Affirmation spreads the seeds of communication. When we name what we say and hear, and name what we think it means, members of the community learn how to affirm. Because it takes a village. Affirmation allows the village to witness what it looks and sounds like to be a communication partner. Affirmation helps the village understand what the child’s Yes and No’s might look and sound like. Children need peers, educators, caregivers, family, and community members who respond, even imperfectly. Affirmation empowers the village to bravely embody the role and responsibility for becoming the reimagining our world needs.
And every time a seed grows and blooms, we communicate:
Your voice is heard. We are watching and we are listening.
You can trust what you see and hear and feel. Your child’s voice matters.
Ultimately, communication is relationship.
When we honor a child’s movements and vocalizations, and when we honor a parent’s knowing, we are doing more than teaching communication.
We are saying:
I hear you.
I see you.
You matter.
